~*~
"Orlando has
a million dollars but he doesn’t even donate it. He doesn’t give
it to the poor people because he doesn’t believe in it. He thinks it all
goes to the church."
"Did I ever tell
you the story about the pie?"
"Don't... boys
are dumb... just get drunk."
~*~
*I got up to open Kate's window*
Kate: "We are ice queens!"
Kate: *singing* "I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas day in the mooooorning.
You know who wrote that song? CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS! You know... the Nina, the Pinta and the SANTA MARIA!"
*Later, out of the blue*
"Like an old Portegee woman... in a way it's like, this is my heritage. In another I'm
totally making fun of it."
Kate: "The word odd looks so odd. It's like ADD... except odd is all bubble letters and
ADD is a triangle and two crosses."
Me: "Two crosses?!?"
Kate: "Oh wait... I was thinking of ATT..."
~*~
*Kate and I were in our respective beds at 2am, and her monitor
was still on so I got up to turn it off*
Kate: "Right, can't waste electricity... sorry nature girl! But I'm afraid of the dark!"
Me: "Well... I'm afraid of the light."
Kate: "What???"
Me: "Right, I'm an albino."
Kate: "Oh... like a rabbit? BUNNICULA!!!!!!! Those pink eyes scare me though..."
Me: "What are you doing??"
Kate: "Kicking my pillow.... albino."
"If I fall asleep... don't come looking." *I was writing this all down and I turned the
page* "What are you doing? Eating paper? Rabbits sometimes eat newspaper... albino."
Kate: "I never knew you were albino, I always thought you were caucasion. Does that make
me a rascist?"
Me: "Albino isn't a race, Kate."
Kate: "Oh, well at least I'm not rascist then... I'm just prejudice. You should go make
friends with Strong Sad!" (There's a guy on campus that is albino and looks like Strong Sad)
"Go to sleep! I can't! I can't! What a world... what a wonderful world...
I'm like those little kids who when you tell them to go to sleep the close their eyes and pretend to fall asleep as if closing
their eyes will make them sleepy."
*The girl next door was being loud* "Just because you have dance class doesn't mean we don't
have real class."
"Chickens are like albinos... they're white and fluffy."
"Bunnicula fangs. I should get you some fangs. I can picture you with fangs and
pink eyes and babies."
"Goddamnit I hope I'm not an albino, I think I have pink eye."
Kate: "Have you ever heard of the milkshake song?"
Me: "Uh... no...?"
Kate: "C'mon, Nicole sings it in her car all the time, you know it, shut up. You know
it."
Me: "I don't know what you're talking about!"
Kate: *starts singing*...
"I'm sorry I snore. Nose things are like mousels. I'm sorry I snore it's not my
fault... it's hereditary."
"Albino... I always thought it was a bunny..."
"I sound like my sociology teacher... just rambling, no structure or purpose."
*Mocking the guy on the radio show* "Dude, I can see through that wall..."
"Oh golly whiz gee willikers!"
"Perhaps an armadillo... or a zebra... yes..." *Falls asleep*
~*~
"Roadkill is not just for cars."
~*~
"I always liked to make
wars... No, no... let me explain. Like when you get sick, I always wanted to know what kind of animals were fighting each
other. I always think the white blood cells are like ninjas... no like muslims...
are the white ones the ones that get sick or the red ones? And some fight...
the t cells... Are t cells white blood cells, Dr. Phil? Are they? Or are they all separate? 'Cause I think the white cells are
like something on clouds and the red cells are all pissed off with pitchforks... and then they go at it... not like the kids
on Dawson's Creek. I don't know what you think about this. I can't believe I'm talking like this completely sober... I'm philosophizing... The body by Jake bun thigh
rocker."
~*~
"You ever wonder what kind of gremlins live in your blood?"
~*~
*The girls next door say "Don't
make me come over there"*
Me: "Now I'm afraid to brush
my teeth!"
Kate: "Let me tell you what you're
going to do. You're going to take your keys and stick them up their nose, into
their brain, and through their aorta. That's how you kill a mockingbird."
~*~
*I was dancing*
Kate: "You should go take a night
dancing class."
Me: "Why do you always make fun
of my dancing!"
Kate: "I'm not! I'm just saying... you're very... vibrant?"
Me: "How is dancing vibrant?"
Kate: "I can see all the colors
when you dance. Who needs a kaleidescope when you can see Kirsten dancing at
night?"
~*~
K: "Do you remember Lady Elaine?"
Me: "From Mr. Rogers?"
K: "Yeah."
Me: "What about her?
K: "Just asking if you remembered her."
Me: "What are you talking about?!?! It's not even 10 o'clock yet!"
~*~
K: "Do you think a vampire could infect an elephant?"
Me: "Infect?!"
K: "You know, make him a vampire too. Look how small his mouth is! Can you imagine
having incisors for vampire teeth?!"
~*~
(This is all in order of how she said it... mind you.)
"I wonder how many feet are between us and the floor between us."
"These bricks can't be real!" (about the wall)
K: "We gotta tip-toe!"
Me: "What?!?!"
K: "So the people below us can't hear us!"
"There's gotta be room for the rodents!"
"Somebody's peeing."
"Who would win a fight between a lobster and an elephant? I think lobster, because he
has claws and his shadow is more intimidating. Got him! Victory!"
"I need a lifesize elephant to climb on. I'll get one! *I laughed* You'll
see! I won't let you ride it!"
"I think I'm going to get a dog and name it Efef."
