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~*~
~SOPHOMORE YEAR!~ (2000-2001)
~*~
--OlD qUoTe--
*I was interviewing people on stress for an article for journalism class*
Me:
What brings on most of your stress?
Ryan: Robots, giant robots.
Me: How do you best cope with stress?
Ryan: I
hit people, really hard.
~*~
*I was studying for my Francais test... in Francais class*
Me: *mispronouncing ALL
the words* Sois, sois, soit... soyons, soyez, soient. Aie, aies, ait... ayons, ayez, aient.
Kyle: Why are you pronouncing
them wrong?
Me: Cuz knowing how to say them won't help me on a WRITTEN TEST! This way, I know what I'm writing. It's easier,
no? *continues* Dehors... Outside... Da Whores are Outside!! WOW! That'll be SO easy to remember!
Kyle: *Has no words
at this point, just laughs hysterically*
~*~
*Eating dinner at the Mendes residence. I was telling Mrs. Mendes about
Medieval Times on the "New York" trip*
Me: We actually had to eat with our hands!! First there was soup and then this
big motha piece of chicken...
Mrs. Mendes: Big motha? What's that?
Me: Umm...
Jared: Big father piece of chicken?
Mrs. Mendes: No stupid, there's no such thing as a father chicken!
Jared: Oh right... that would be rooster, wouldn't
it?
~*~
*..Still at the Mendes residence eating..*
Mrs. Mendes: Didn't Michael just make the best girl? He was
the only one who would do it.
Me: Yah cuz you know he's got such a nice body. *laughs*
Mrs. Mendes: *shouting cuz
Mike was in the kitchen* Michael, didn't you shave your legs for that?
Me: *runs into the kitchen, afraid the milk in
my mouth would spray on everyone. Sits on the floor, laughing hysterically*
~*~
Tracey: Make sure that when you wanna
go to Hotmail, you don't accidentally type Hotmale. Cuz I never wanna see that again. Ever.
~*~
*Jenn wispers in Nikki's
ear*
Me: Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.
Nikki: *leans over and wispers in my ear* Uuuuuuuuugghhhhh.
~*~
*Mendes is dressed like a freshman girl for Variety Show. Backstage...*
Mr. Forrest: Oh Mike, you're so sexy.
I wanna jump you right now!!
~*~
*Watching Gladiator*
Mrs. Mendes: Yah think those guys wear underpants with them
things?
~*~
Monique: He's nice an' all, but all I've ever said to him is, "Say hi to your mom for me."
~*~
Tracey:
I put the cat in my room... and I just heard him scratching on my door... so I went to go let him out and I opened the door
and it smelled really really really really bad... and I'm thinking "I don't smell that bad, do I?"... then I saw the cat poop
in like 3 different spots... luckily not on bed, so I made my dad clean it...
Me: *laughs*
Tracey: Yeah you're laughing...
jeez you should smell it!
Me: *laughs*
Tracey: Uh... now he wants a snack--- forget it... I'm sure if I pooped in
my parents room that they wouldn't give me a snack afterwords...so why should he get one? ...Cats!!
~*~
*Talking about
favorite Disney movies at drama*
Ryan: Lady and the Tramp was pretty suspenseful.. I was on the edge of my seat!
Jamie:
I got really scared in The Little Mermaid when Ursula got really big!
Ryan: Ursula in Lady and the Tramp? Like suddenly
Ursula pops out of the spaghetti?!
~*~
Me: Yah wanna hear something funny.. yet gross, but funny?
Calin: LOL..
k..
Me: I was talking to Rob awhile ago...
Calin: Hahahahahaha!!
~*~
Tracey: Know what I realized?
Me:
What?
Tracey: Everybody in Coheety rhymes except for Mike... There's Brian and Ryan, then Matt and Pat.. then Mike.
~*~
Tracey: This is really entertaining.
Me: What is?
Tracey: My right hand is REALLY REALLY cold.
Tracey: And
my left hand is REALLY REALLY warm.
~*~
*My sister sat on my mom's stomach*
Robyn: Remember that time we saw that
girl do this to that boy on stage? The.. BODY SLAM!!!!!
~*~
Jenny: Did you guys hear that NetZero is gonna be charging
now?
*everyone discusses how ridiculous this is*
Corey: So they gonna change their name to Net9.99?
~*~
*Jenn
driving down Crandall to my house with Kate & I*
Jenn: It's so raaaainy! I hate the rain! It feels like we're floating
down the street!
Kate: Yes, Jenn... we're not in a car, we're in a boat floating down the street.
~*~
Jamie: ...I
wish I had AOL 6.0...
Me: Why don't you just upgrade?
Jamie: 'Cause then my computer would be so slow it'd lose a
race with a one legged sloth.
~*~
*Talking to Jamie on-line*
Me: Yah, on-line is a piece of midouri salad.
~*~
*Jamie, Tracey & I in Fall River.. a car goes by in front of us*
Tracey: Wasn't that the lunch lady?!
~*~
*Jacky & I walking down the hall from the band room after school*
Jacky: *walks funny* Would you still be my friend
if I walked like this?
Me: Of course, I'll be your friend through thick and thin.
Jacky: Would you... still be my
friend if I didn't wear pants?
Me: No... I don't think so...
Jacky: But that goes along with thin, right? So why wouldn't
you be my friend?!
~*~
*My mom & I watching Cliffhanger...*
Me: Leon's in this? Wait... why does that sound
familiar?
Mom: He's in Cool Runnings.
Me: Which?
Mom: The black guy...
~*~
*My mom talking about her surgery
and anesthesia*
Mom: He called it "La-La Land"... He said that would be better than local anesthesia so I wouldn't have
to hear what they said.
Dad: You especially wouldn't want to hear "Oops!"
~*~
*My dad was asking me about the
THS Homepage and the Web Team*
Dad: You don't wanna join the web team?
Conor (my little cousin): What about spider
webs?? Or... SPIDER MAN?!?
~*~
*In the kitchen at my aunt's house on St. Patrick's Day, Auntie Sylvia and Auntie Anne
talking about the food*
Auntie Sylvia: It's called Dublinger cheese.
Conor: Her name is Kirsten Dublinger?!? But I
thought it was Oblinger!!
~*~
#!-This is an OLD quote-!#
*Monique & I were walking down the hall... when I
saw Rob talking to Mrs. Anselmo*
Me: I HATE YOU ROB! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! *He hides behind Mrs. Anselmo*
Mrs. A: KIRSTEN!
You don't hate anyone! Hate gives you a black heart!
~*~
*I was watching Cribs on MTV*
Me: Oh man, these houses
are so awesome.
Mom: What are you watching?
Me: Cribs on MTV.
Mom: Cribs?!
Me: Yeah, mom, Cribs... Like a
house... Crib...
Mom: Well, I've never heard of that before. But I do know that back in the early 1900's they used to
call the houses of prositutes...
~*~
*My mom talking on the phone to my aunt, I'm on-line behind her, listening*
Mom:
Oh, it was so cute... Robyn was watching Gypsy and she wants one of the stripper's outfits in the end.
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Mom: Kirsten, I'm on the phone.
Me: Yeah, but mom, I was laughing at what you just said.
Mom: Oh! *continuing
on with her story* So I think after Easter, I'll make her one of those dresses. And she wants a big boa too.
Me: *laughs
even harder*
~*~
*As I was leaving school, Mrs. Anselmo was talking to some random guys about swearing*
Mrs. Anselmo:
I would never think about saying the 'F' word or any kind of swear!
Me: *laughs* Oh, Mrs. Anselmo, you're so cute.
Mrs.
A: What? It's true. I know you wouldn't say that word either.
Me: *laughs* You sure, Mrs. Anselmo?
Mrs. A: I guess
I like to think of you as sweet and innocent.
Me: But I can't ALWAYS be sweet and innocent.
Mrs. A: Of course... but
I don't want to hear you say that word! Girls who say that are tramps!
~*~
*Jacky & I in homeroom*
Jacky:
*looks at her name on the back of her raffle tickets* They spelled my name wrong!
Me: How'd they spell it? *looks, spelled
Jaclyn Prouty*
Jacky: They spelled it the formal way but I don't like it.
~*~
*At drama, Judi talking to Monique
& Dave about their 'shimmy'*
Mo: Shimmy shimmy.
Me: Shimmy what?
Mo: Shimmy yeah.
Me: Shimmy woooo hooo!
~*~
*Mo, Baloo, and I in Biology talking about new names*
Me: So, what's my new name?
Mo: SULFER!
Me:
No!!!!!
Baloo: Yeah, yeah sulfer, 'cause you have blond hair. (to Mo) And you can be carbon, 'cause you're hot.
Me:
Well? What about me?
Baloo: You can be magma, 'cause you're RED HOT! Red hot like magma, straight from a volcano.
~*~
*Kate, Calin & I still talking in history about Rob*
Calin: He never even told me what he was sick with.
Me:
Maybe he has mono...
Calin: No, I think he would have produced it faster.
Kate: Maybe he's just gay...
~*~
*Kate,
Calin & I talking in history with Mrs. Keavy as a sub*
Kate: Why does Mrs. Keavy always look like shes pregnant?And
why does she always where those moo-moos?
Me: *laughs* What?!
Kate: Moo-moos you know, those things that fat ladies
wear when they're pregnant.
~*~
*Mrs. Keavy tells us to quiet down*
Kate: Look! She's having contractions... *breaths
deeply*
~*~
*Robyn, my mom & I in the car on the way home*
Robyn: When I get older, mom, will you teach me
to drive a car?
Mom: Sure, Robyn.
Robyn: I don't wanna get married, I just wanna get my ears pierced.
~*~
*Monique
and I in the computer lab, talking through IM's*
Me: I need chapstick.
Mo: Turn around and catch.
Me: *turns around,
Gregory is standing there... laughs hysterically... Gregory makes a face and walks away. Looks at Monique*
Mo: C'mon,
you gonna catch? *throws chapstick at me*
~*~
Mike J: Jigga jigga.
Me: Jigga what?
Mike: Jigga yeah.
Me:
Jigga woooo hoooooo!
Mike: Can't beat that.
~*~
Me: Mike, my stomach hurts. Make it go away.
Mike J: *presto!*
It's all gone.
Me: No, it's not.
Mike: Yes, it is.
Me: I think I know my stomach better than you.
Mike: No...
remember that time you were eating watermelon seeds?
Me: I don't recall.. refresh my memory.
Mike: Well, you ate them
and you were afraid there was a watermelon tree growing in your stomach. So I performed surgery to remove the seeds.
Me:
So you saved me!! My hero!!
~*~
*My dad driving me to Monique's, with my mom and sister in the car. There was a conversation
about something I don't remember what when, out of the clear blue sky...*
Robyn: Mom, do you remember that time I had
apple juice on the airplane?
Mom: Yes, I do.
Robyn: That was good.
*I laugh*
Robyn: What's so funny? You had
apple juice, too!
~*~
*My fam eating dinner sitting at the table*
Mom: Robyn couldn't wait to get to school this
morning.
Me: WHY?!
Mom: She just couldn't wait to see Katelyn!
Robyn: I missed Katelyn so much!
Dad: You missed
Katelyn?
Robyn: NO DAD!! I'm not Miss Katelyn, I'm Robyn!
~*~
*I walk into the living room, where Robyn has been
watching TV all night*
Me: So, is the TV free?
Mom: No, but it's reasonable.
~*~
*My mom tells me that my
sister saw a friend of mine in Lenscrafters*
Me: Did you see my friend in the glasses store, Robyn?
Robyn: No. I went
over to the kids' glasses and it wasn't the good guy.
~*~
*Jenn & I cruising the Ave*
Jenn: Hey, was that
Jeff?
Me: Who?!
Jenn: Jeff! Remember? "Yeah I was gonna fight this kid and he didn't show so I went to his house to
beat him up and WOOPS! I cracked his skull. So I stole his TV, yo." *laughs hysterically*
Me: Oh, that Jeff.
~*~
*Me
doing my make-up in the bathroom*
Dad: When are you going to give the dog a bath?
Me: *thinks* 5 minutes.
Dad:
Don't scare me like that... I know how long you're 2 seconds are.
~*~
*Old guy with huge afro pulls along side us*
Jenn: *nods head* Sup?
Me: *dazed*
Jenn: Did you see that guy? Lemme speed up so you can get a better look. *speeds
up... laughs... guy slows down* Lemme slow down so we can laugh at him again. *slows down... laughs... guy look at us* Okayyyy...
that's enough. *drives away laughing*
~*~
*As Jenn & I are still cruising the Ave, a cop car pulls up on the side
of us. A huge woman is sitting in the back seat. After a double-take...*
Jenn: A crack mama! *I laugh hysterically*
*5
minutes pass without sight of the cop*
Jenn: *glances over* It's the crack mama! That's it... I'm getting off the Ave.
Too many crackmamas for me.
~*~
*Monique and I reminiscing*
Me: These are my life.
Mo: What?
Me: Yankee
Doodles.
Mo: Oh I thought you were going to say me. I was rejected over a Yankee Doodle.
~*~
*Jenn and I walking
in Providence Place*
Me: UGH! Why can't people actually WALK!
Jenn: Because Kir! They have to keep up with their ghetto
walk. I mean, that takes time and concentration.
Me: Now what! OLD PEOPLE! What so OLD PEOPLE have their own friggin'
type of walk too?
Jenn: No they're just old.
Me: *Gets hit in the head with a shopping bag* OH THANKS A LOT LADY!!
WHAT WOULD MY DAY HAVE BEEN LIKE WITHOUT YOU GOING AND HITTING ME IN THE HEAD?! THAT TOTALLY MADE MY DAY! THANK YOUUUU!!
~*~
*I walk into "Chemistry" obviously upset*
Alisendro: Something wrong??
Me: *Looks at Mo's empty desk, then at
Mo's "Chemistry" book on my desk*
Alisendro: Ahh.. Mo's not here.
Me: *nods* Unfortunately.
Alisendro: Don't worry,
I'll get you through this. You'll be okay.
~*~
Gregory: Ha! I'm gonna call you Kir from now on.
Me: Does that
mean I can call you Gre?
Gregory: Grrrr... NO! How 'bout calling me "Greg" for once?
Me: Think again... There is no
way on Earth I will ever refer to you as Greg... I've known you too long.
Gregory: Pfff...
~*~
My mom: I was watching
TV the other day, and there was a commercial for some movie. And there was this guy... Freddie... Prinze Jr. I believe? I
looked, and then I had to look again because he looks just like Rob!
~*~
Me: I don't know what to say to him!
Mo:
Just be like, "No, you fool! It was all in jest, you'll harass me no more, you pompous poppycock!"
~*~
*Mo & I
talking about thongs*
Me: So, I thought you were going to get one?
Mo: Only if I had to wear that skirt and I was
desperate... and feeling a lil... risque...
~*~
Me: Ya know what? Being 105 isn't what it's cracked up to be. Everyone
wants to pick you up to see how light you are.
Kyle: Hahahaha... I thought you meant years old!!! ...I thought you were
some prophet in a young girl's body or something... was scared.
~*~
Uncle Charlie: Rene Russo disgusts me. She looks
like a horse. She's... a walking chess piece!
~*~
Calin: God Kirsten, you laugh at everything!
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Calin: (to Kara & Lauren) You should hear her story about the bush in the truck!
Me: *laughs even harder*
~*~
Calin: Don't do that!
Me: Do what?
Calin: Suddenly sign off!
Me: Oh... purposely freeze my computer? So I
can... get this... YIPPEE! Restart the whole friggin' machine?
~*~
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